Losing the “Single” (part 2)

On October 21, 2016October 21, 2016 By Stacy N. SergentIn Love for Neighbor and Self, SinglenessLeave a comment

(If you missed part 1, you can catch up here.)

After being single for the first 21 years of my adult life, will I still be me when I get married?

That’s the question I asked at the end of my previous post, and it’s an important one. I love my fiancé and I’m very, very happy when I think of being his wife. I also know that life will be very, very different for me a few months from now. And that’s a bit frightening, to be honest. I know without a doubt, no matter how happily married I am, that there will be days when I miss my single life. Continue reading “Losing the “Single” (part 2)” →

Losing the “Single” (part 1)

On September 27, 2016September 27, 2016 By Stacy N. SergentIn Singleness1 Comment

My friend Sarah and I just went to see Bridget Jones’s Baby. If you have any affection for the previous films and/or the books (though I know this film deviates wildly from the latest book), I highly recommend it. I found it delightful. But then, Bridget and I are old friends. And it filled me with all sorts of conflicting emotions to see her getting older, knowing that I’m getting older, too. For the past 15 years or so, I’ve identified strongly with Bridget. She was a “singleton,” like me. When I first discovered her, I was in my 20s, and still hoping to be married before I was 30. But as the years flew by, I soon found that I was older than Bridget in either of the movies (which I watched countless times) and still a singleton.

Continue reading “Losing the “Single” (part 1)” →

An Epiphany Miracle (of Sorts)

On January 11, 2015January 14, 2015 By Stacy N. SergentIn Singleness, Writing2 Comments

We’re now two days away from the electronic release of Being Called Chaplain: How I Lost My Name and (Eventually) Found My Faith. In another post (which I am still trying to recover from the internet abyss), I explained how I ended up publishing with Harrelson Press and how smoothly everything was going, right up until the last minute. This is the rest of that story. My editor, Merianna, and I set a timeline for publication. We wanted to release the ebook in January and the print version in March. Merianna suggested Epiphany as a good and theologically interesting date for the ebook launch. She began formatting the book for 6×8 pages and quickly realized that, even after my initial edits, it was still way too long. Even when she changed to 6×9 formatting, we were looking at a book the length of a historical epic or late entry in the Harry Potter series — far too lengthy for the spiritual memoir genre for which we were aiming. Mere days before Epiphany, she emailed me the sad news that there was just no way we could print the complete book in this form. I was devastated. Continue reading “An Epiphany Miracle (of Sorts)” →

My Birthday Wish

On June 5, 2014December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn Body Image, Chaplaincy, Dating, Gratitude, Grief, Love for Neighbor and Self, Peace, Perfectionism, Singleness7 Comments

It’s my birthday. I will celebrate with friends today, and tomorrow as well. But to be honest, I have mixed feelings about birthdays the last few years. I know it has something to do with not being where I am “supposed to be” at this point in my life, as I was reminded by a list a friend posted to Facebook the other day about differences between your 20s and 30s. At least half the things on the list assumed that everyone in their 30s has a spouse and children. And I always thought I would. But now I’m nearing the end of my 30s, and the likelihood that I will be a wife and mother before I’m 40, if ever, seems smaller all the time. Continue reading “My Birthday Wish” →

On Not Finding God’s Match For Me

On October 30, 2013December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn Dating, Love for Neighbor and Self, Singleness, Women in Ministry9 Comments

“It’s your turn next!” my friend told me, less than a week after her wedding. I was amazed at the speed with which one can go from Singleton to Smug Married. (Sorry if much of my vocabulary in this arena is informed by the Bridget Jones books and movies. Okay, I’m not really sorry; I love them.) I wanted to remind her of how much we hated it when other people said such things to us back when we were both single, but I bit my tongue. “Have you tried that website?” she asked, and proceeded to tell me about a Christian dating site. You know the one. You’ve seen their commercials, in which ridiculously photogenic couples hold hands and frolic chastely and talk about how God meant for them to find one another, all to the sound of a song which is actually about falling in love with Jesus, not finding your schmoopie. No, I told her. I haven’t and will not try that one. Based on the commercials and what I’ve heard from friends who have tried it, I don’t think their particular brand of Christianity fits me at all. I deplore the idea of “finding God’s match for me,” as if there’s one guy out there God designed to fit me, and my ultimate purpose in life is to find him. I don’t buy that. Continue reading “On Not Finding God’s Match For Me” →