6. Experience a Total Solar Eclipse

On By Stacy N. SergentIn 40 New Things at 40Leave a comment

(This post is part of my series 40 New Things at 40.)

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It was the kind of thing that you can’t really plan, not completely anyway. I was just lucky enough to be in the path of a total solar eclipse that happened while I was 40. So I’m counting it! The hype surrounding this “Great American Eclipse” (so called because the moon’s shadow crossed the continental U.S. from Oregon to South Carolina) was incredible. Schools and businesses in my area were closed for the day, partly because everyone wanted to be free to see the eclipse and partly because authorities had no idea how people would react to the sky going dark in the middle of the afternoon. Would people driving simply stop in the middle of the road to gawk at the sun being blotted out, or run their cars off the road in surprise (even though the media had been telling us for months that it was coming)? Would animals run wild, not comprehending what was happening? Would there be mass hysteria?! Continue reading “6. Experience a Total Solar Eclipse” →

5. Get DNA Tested

On By Stacy N. SergentIn 40 New Things at 40, Grief1 Comment

(This post is part of my at-least-year-long series 40 New Things at 40.)

There are some things that still make me feel like I am living in the future. The fact that I can spit into a test tube and some scientist in a lab can use it to examine my DNA is one of those things. Last year, I got my test kit from 23 and Me, one of a few different options in the DNA testing market now. Full disclosure: I chose them because my husband gained a perfectly delightful cousin through DNA testing, whose story was so compelling that 23 and Me turned it into a promotional video (which was filmed on our wedding day, but cousin Jordan still managed to make it to the reception). I wondered if my own DNA results would reveal anything surprising about my ancestry. Continue reading “5. Get DNA Tested” →

4. Be the Tooth Fairy

On By Stacy N. SergentIn 40 New Things at 40, ParentingLeave a comment

(This post is part of my yearlong series, 40 New Things at 40.)

Some people have asked me for the complete list of my #40newthingsat40, but I didn’t make one in advance. I had some ideas written down before I started, but others I knew would be new experiences that would arise organically because of all the recent changes in my life. One of those happened when my 7-year-old stepson lost a tooth. He was wiggling and pulling at it all evening, and when he brushed his teeth that night, it pretty quickly fell out. He immediately started wondering what the Tooth Fairy would leave him.  Continue reading “4. Be the Tooth Fairy” →

How Did This Judgmental 1950s TV Housewife Get in My Head?

On By Stacy N. SergentIn Body Image, Love for Neighbor and Self, Parenting, Perfectionism3 Comments

I’ve been married all of six months. Everyone says the first year of marriage is the hardest, because of all the change it brings. Some of those changes I knew to expect. But one thing I was not prepared for was all the guilt. I’ve been surprised by the guilt that comes from not meeting all these expectations I didn’t even realize I had for myself as a wife and (step)mother. I am an unapologetic feminist, and didn’t think traditional gender roles carried much weight in my psyche. It turns out that on some level, they do. It’s like I have this horribly perfect housewife from some old TV show (because nobody is that perfect in real life) breaking into my thoughts, constantly telling me how I’m screwing everything up. Continue reading “How Did This Judgmental 1950s TV Housewife Get in My Head?” →

3. Do Back-to-School Shopping for a Child in Need

On By Stacy N. SergentIn 40 New Things at 40, Gratitude, Love for Neighbor and Self, Parenting2 Comments

(This post is part of my year-long series 40 New Things at 40.)

I love shopping for school supplies. As a child, I looked forward to it every year. If I close my eyes, I can still clearly picture my very first school bag, bright red with silver buckles, emblazoned with the logo of the 1981 movie version of the musical Annie. (It looked kind of like this, except I don’t remember the main image being cartoon Annie and Sandy.) It helped me through the difficult first day of kindergarten, when I was homesick and missed my mom and a mean boy told me I had a fat belly. Pretty much every year, I would get a new backpack (except when my grandparents got my brother and me L.L. Bean backpacks, which lasted and lasted) and a colorful assortment of notebooks, folders (I still miss my Trapper Keeper), pencils, erasers, and other supplies. When I grew up, I looked forward to going back-to-school shopping with my own kids. Continue reading “3. Do Back-to-School Shopping for a Child in Need” →

2. Take an Aerial Fitness Class

On By Stacy N. SergentIn 40 New Things at 40, Body Image, Love for Neighbor and Self1 Comment

(This post is part of my year-long series 40 New Things at 40.)

I was worried, unsure whether my newly-40-years-old-and-overweight-for-nearly-all-of-those-years body could handle this. Before I signed up for the class, I emailed the owner of Aerial Fit Charleston to get her honest opinion on whether someone as old and out of shape as I am should really try aerial fitness classes. Would the materials hold my weight? Would I be able to keep up with the rest of the class? Would I make a fool of myself?  Continue reading “2. Take an Aerial Fitness Class” →

1. Learn to Use a Gun

On By Stacy N. SergentIn 40 New Things at 401 Comment

(This post is the first in my year-long series 40 New Things at 40.)

I had seen the ad a few times for Ladies’ Night at a local gun shop and range. For one price, a woman can get lessons from female instructors, rental of two different guns, fifty rounds of ammo, private use of the practice range with just the other women in the group, and a t-shirt that reads “I Shot Like a Girl.” Everything is pink for Ladies’ Night – the shirt, the protective headphones and eyeglasses, the man-shaped target. I told a friend I was thinking of putting this on my list of forty new things to try this year and she exclaimed, “But you’re anti-gun!” Continue reading “1. Learn to Use a Gun” →

40 New Things at 40

On By Stacy N. SergentIn 40 New Things at 404 Comments

It happened for the first time when I donated blood yesterday. The woman doing my pre-donation checkup made me repeat my birthdate after she typed it in. Then she double checked it on my driver’s license. “No, you can’t be forty!” she exclaimed. That’s what I’ve been telling myself for the past two weeks, but it’s true. I am forty years old. And when I turned forty, I made myself a promise. Now it’s time to start putting it into action. Continue reading “40 New Things at 40” →

On No Longer Being “Young”

On By Stacy N. SergentIn Gratitude, Love for Neighbor and Self, Parenting, Perfectionism1 Comment

It’s been way too long since I’ve written here. A lot has changed in my life in the past few months. When I started this blog a few years ago, the tagline read, “A single thirtysomething hospital chaplain learning (and unlearning) about life, death, God, myself, and other things along the way.” The “single” part changed in a big way when I got engaged last August, and in an even bigger way when I got married and became a stepmom to two young boys in March. Those changes (and others) have made it difficult to find time to write, but today I must. This is the day I lose another part of the tagline. As of today, I am no longer “thirtysomething.” And officially, according to one group that has meant a lot to me over the years, today I no longer qualify as “young.” The above photo was taken on my honeymoon, when I took a drink from the Fountain of Youth. Obviously it didn’t work. Continue reading “On No Longer Being “Young”” →

This Body of Dust

On By Stacy N. SergentIn Body Image, Gratitude, Holidays, Love for Neighbor and Self, Perfectionism2 Comments

If you ever feel like you don’t have enough insecurities about your body, try looking through some bridal magazines. And then go to a store and try on dresses like the ones in those magazines. Look in the mirror and notice that your body looks so different in the dresses from those women in the magazines that you might as well be two different species. Voilà! Instant body insecurities! It sure worked for me, anyway. It doesn’t help that while cleaning out my closet the other day, I came across a picture of me from the time just over a decade ago when, for about a year, I was as close as I will ever come to my ideal weight. That picture tortured me maybe even more than the pictures of models in magazines. My eyes filled with tears looking at it as I thought, That’s the body I want to get married in. Why couldn’t I have had my wedding then?! I obsessed about how much better that body would look in my wedding dress (and my wedding night lingerie) and in all the hundreds of photos that will be taken of me on that day. But instead, I will get hundreds of photos of this body I have now, the one that is regrettably far from ideal. Continue reading “This Body of Dust” →