ABCs of Hospital Chaplaincy: B is for Bible

On September 5, 2014December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn ABCs of Hospital Chaplaincy, Chaplaincy6 Comments

I’m sure it’s not true everywhere, but since the hospital where I work is located pretty securely in the Bible Belt, we chaplains get a lot of requests to bring Bibles to patients. Our office also contains copies of other sacred texts — the Quran, the Book of Mormon, the Torah, and more — but rarely do we get a request for one of those. Instead, we regularly get calls from nurses whose patients say they left their Bibles at home when they were hospitalized and would like to borrow one. We have a steady supply of Gideon Bibles, so it’s okay that we almost never get them back. One patient told me not long ago, “I just can’t fall asleep without reading God’s word!” I wondered which parts she wasn’t reading, since I have found a lot in there over the years that would keep me awake nights. Continue reading “ABCs of Hospital Chaplaincy: B is for Bible” →

ABCs of Hospital Chaplaincy: A is for Advance Directive

On August 29, 2014December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn ABCs of Hospital Chaplaincy, Chaplaincy, Love for Neighbor and Self3 Comments

How do you want to die? Have you ever thought about it? It’s a line of thinking most of us would probably like to avoid, but as a hospital chaplain, my job involves a lot of thinking and talking about death. And in the hospital where I work, chaplains also have conversations with people who are not near death about what they want to happen when they get to that point. Upon check-in, every patient is asked whether they would like information about Advance Directives. If he/she says yes, a chaplain will go visit him/her within the next forty-eight hours, carrying a blank South Carolina healthcare power of attorney form. Where I work, it is one of the basics of what a chaplain does. Continue reading “ABCs of Hospital Chaplaincy: A is for Advance Directive” →

I Am Not a “That”

On July 5, 2014July 5, 2016 By Stacy N. SergentIn Body Image, Love for Neighbor and Self, Women in Ministry9 Comments

It was a little after 9pm, barely dark. I was walking across the campus of the hospital where I work. My shift lasts until 1am, and if it gets really late, I will sometimes ask the Public Safety officer for a ride. But it was not late, and it’s only a few blocks’ walk, so I didn’t even think about it. That is until a couple of minutes later, when a man in a car at the stoplight stuck his head out the window to yell, “Whoo, baby! I want some of that!” Since I was not carrying anything, I can only assume the “that” he was referring to was me — or the sexual pleasure he imagined he would get from me. I was sufficiently startled that I changed my route in case he followed me, and made sure to pass by the Public Safety building. It made me angry that I have to think about such things, no matter what time of day it is. Continue reading “I Am Not a “That”” →

Up In the Air

On June 16, 2014December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy, Depression, Grief, Love for Neighbor and Self, Peace, Suffering2 Comments

I’m typing this at 30,000 feet. Actually, that’s a guess; I’m not sure what our cruising altitude is. But anyway, I’m on an airplane somewhere between Charlotte, NC and Boston, MA. Since I have a window seat, I’ve been passing my time peering out at winding rivers and geometrically plotted parcels of land and cars the size of ants making their way to somewhere important. The rest of the time, I’ve been reading Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner and Saint by Nadia Bolz-Weber. A Lutheran pastor with an irreverent wit and punch-in-the-gut honesty, Nadia makes for a great traveling companion. She is just what I need, as I look down on the world and think, inevitably, about God. Continue reading “Up In the Air” →

Endings and Beginnings

On April 16, 2014December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy, Grief, HolidaysLeave a comment

He was much too old for lullabies, already a teenager. If he had been able to speak, he may have protested, but I doubt it. His mother lay in the hospital bed next to him, wrapped her arms around him. A few hours earlier, she had been full of anxiety and anger, lashing out at anyone who so much as hinted that her son was dying. But I did more than hint. I confronted her with the reality that he was coming to the end, and that he needed her now as much as ever. The anger exploded — then disappeared. And in her son’s last hours, she did as good a job of anyone I’ve ever seen at saying goodbye. She told him she loved him, that every day with him was a gift, and then for a painfully long time, she sang him to sleep. She made sure that the last sound he would hear was not beeping monitors or her anguished sobs or his own raspy final breaths, but that first sound — his mother’s voice, singing to him the same songs she had sung when he was a baby. Continue reading “Endings and Beginnings” →

Do You Want to Be Made Well?

On April 2, 2014December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy, Depression, Love for Neighbor and Self, Peace2 Comments

Sometimes I get to the point where I think I’ve seen it all. And then I walk into a patient’s room to see several leeches on him. I’ll admit, I got a little woozy. In theory, I knew that leeches are still used in modern medicine, but I had never actually seen it until recently. I’m guessing this is not what the patient expected when he checked into a Western hospital in the year 2014. But healing can take some unexpected, and rather uncomfortable, paths. Continue reading “Do You Want to Be Made Well?” →

The Value of Being Needy

On November 15, 2013December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy, Love for Neighbor and Self5 Comments

Wandering through the ER, I asked after an employee I know well, trying my best to hold back tears. “Is B___ working tonight?” A few staff members said that she was, but that they hadn’t seen her in a little while. Finally one nurse told me, “I think she got sent to the C side.” I made my way to that section of the emergency department, and found B___ sitting at the nurses’ station, thankfully not busy. “Hey, Chaplain,” she greeted me with a smile. “What are you doing over here?”

“I just needed . . . somebody,” I told her, letting the tears come. Continue reading “The Value of Being Needy” →

Worse Than Death?

On November 3, 2013December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy, Suffering2 Comments

Recently, a friend of a friend asked me a question about death. She is a new employee at a hospital in another state. Though we haven’t seen each other in years, she remembered that I was a chaplain, got my number from our mutual friend, and wanted to talk. “I’m not a religious person,” she began. “I’m not even sure I believe in God. But if there is a God, I need to know if he’ll judge me for this. I’ve killed three people already.” Confused, I asked her to explain about these killings. She told me how she had been the one to remove the breathing tubes and turn off the ventilators for three terminal patients. “I know it’s my job,” she said. “And it’s what the families decided to do, and the patients probably would have died anyway. But they died sooner because of me, you know? I’m the one who took them off the vent. They stopped breathing at that moment because of me. Will God punish me for that?” I could hear the tremor in her voice. “I wanted to do this job to help people. And I do. I help a lot of people. But I didn’t count on being the actual instrument of death for some patients, you know? I don’t know how to deal with that.” Continue reading “Worse Than Death?” →

A Most Reluctant Prophet

On October 25, 2013December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy, Grief4 Comments

This week is a time set aside by organizations and individuals around the world as Pastoral Care Week, to recognize the contributions of professional chaplains and pastoral counselors. Each year, a different aspect of pastoral care is brought to light with the annual theme. This year’s theme is “Prophetic Voice.” I have to say, this is not my favorite. Being a prophetic voice — a truthteller — is one of the most anxiety-producing parts of being a chaplain for me. I can listen all day long. I can be a supportive, non-judgmental presence. I can celebrate diversity of beliefs. I can sit in silence with the dying. No problem! But speaking truth, even getting confrontational? That’s something else entirely. I have had to learn to do it, and it is still not easy. Continue reading “A Most Reluctant Prophet” →

What’s Saving My Life This Week

On October 16, 2013December 1, 2014 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy, Love for Neighbor and Self, Women in Ministry4 Comments

As you might have guessed if you’ve read any of my other blog posts, my job can be pretty stressful at times. Those of us in caregiving professions can easily become exhausted — physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually — by the constant demands of helping others. Sooner or later, inevitably, we will experience what is known as compassion fatigue. It happened to me during my first year as a staff chaplain. (Actually, I’m sure it was happening to me during CPE as well, but it just felt like part of the gauntlet of that year of chaplain residency that we all had to endure!) I had not yet learned to recognize the signs. I was not getting enough sleep. I was eating unhealthy foods at strange times of day. For a while, I would burst into tears whenever anyone outside the hospital asked me how I was doing, because I was working so hard to keep my emotions in check at work. Continue reading “What’s Saving My Life This Week” →