Depression Doesn’t Care That You’re Happy

On February 25, 2016February 25, 2016 By Stacy N. SergentIn Depression, Gratitude, Grief1 Comment

I’ve written quite a bit here about my experiences with depression. It’s something I’ve been dealing with for a long time now. And yet, some days it can still catch me off guard and knock me down before I know what’s happened. I’ve had a few of those days lately. It’s hard to explain to people who’ve never been depressed. If they notice that I seem down or if I tell them I’m sad, the first thing they ask is, “What happened?” And in most cases, that would be a reasonable question to ask. But in this case, in my case, there really is no reason. Or rather, the reason I’m depressed is that I have depression. Continue reading “Depression Doesn’t Care That You’re Happy” →

A Day in the Life of a Chaplain

On February 4, 2016February 4, 2016 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy, Women in MinistryLeave a comment

I was asked to write a guest post for Baptist Women in Ministry’s blog, and it was featured today on their Wednesday Words. Check out “A Day in the Life of a Chaplain” on their website. And to read about a whole year in the life of a chaplain, be sure to get my book, Being Called Chaplain: How I Lost My Name and (Eventually) Found My Faith.

Confessions of a Frustrated Author

On January 29, 2016January 29, 2016 By Stacy N. SergentIn Perfectionism, Writing1 Comment

Writing a book is hard. I started one in 2009, and finished it five years later. Getting a book published is very hard. My first one was published last year, and it was very exciting. Selling published books is really, really hard. Every day I have to fight the fear that I’m a failure as an author because we haven’t sold out our first printing in a year. Every time I open the trunk of my car, I see a box of unsold books, taunting me. There are reasons not to lose hope, I remind myself. My publisher forwarded me a newsletter from Bibliocrunch that mentioned industry averages, so I could see that my first year sales are almost exactly what the average author can expect. I remind myself all the time that the people who have read my book, though fewer in number than I’d like, have loved it. And they want more. Continue reading “Confessions of a Frustrated Author” →

What to Say to Someone Who’s Grieving (If You Have to Say Something)

On January 25, 2016January 28, 2016 By Stacy N. SergentIn Grief, Love for Neighbor and Self, Suffering3 Comments

Recently I shared on Facebook a great piece from BuzzFeed, “What You Say to Someone Who’s Grieving vs. What They Hear.” While I liked what it had to say about how our well-intentioned platitudes can actually be hurtful, some of my friends found it discouraging. Their (very valid) point was that there were no positive alternatives offered, nothing like, “Say this instead.” One friend suggested that, since I work with grieving people every day as a hospital chaplain, I should write a list of better things to say to them. I hesitated, because every situation and every grieving person is different, and I don’t want to give anyone the impression that there are magic words that will make the hurt go away. There just aren’t. But as I thought about it, I did come up with at least a few guidelines and suggestions for words that, in most cases, I believe will help more than they hurt. With a subject as messy as grief, that’s the best I can do. So, here we go. Continue reading “What to Say to Someone Who’s Grieving (If You Have to Say Something)” →

Q is for Quiet

On January 10, 2016January 10, 2016 By Stacy N. SergentIn ABCs of Hospital Chaplaincy, Chaplaincy, Prayer, Women in Ministry2 Comments

(This post is part of my ongoing series ABCs of Hospital Chaplaincy.)

Working in a hospital is sometimes enough to make you superstitious (though, like Michael Scott, I try to be only a little stitious). Full moons really do seem to bring out more of the crazy stuff. If someone mentions that we haven’t had a gunshot wound all day, ER staff members would bet that one will arrive within the hour. And whatever you do, don’t say anything to the effect of, “It sure is quiet around here.” In my book, I tell the story of how I got on a nurse’s bad side by jinxing her shift with the Q word. Continue reading “Q is for Quiet” →

Loosing Hope

On December 31, 2015January 10, 2016 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy, Holidays2 Comments

This can be a tough time of year for hospital work. As a chaplain, I often see the most tragic situations, and they take on an even sadder air around the holidays. Nobody wants to remember Christmas as “the day Dad died” or “the anniversary of Gramma’s stroke.” But it happens. It’s easy to get pulled under by the seemingly hopeless situations. So I wasn’t surprised when I saw a dear friend and fellow chaplain post her status update on Facebook: “Christmas Eve in a Level One Trauma Center may cause me to loose all hope.” Continue reading “Loosing Hope” →

Happiness: It’s Not Just for Skinny People

On October 28, 2015October 28, 2015 By Stacy N. SergentIn Body Image, Love for Neighbor and Self, Perfectionism5 Comments

I have a confession to make. This isn’t easy, but I need to say it. Even with all the wonderful things that have been happening in my life this year — and there are a lot of them — I still struggle with feelings of failure. And I know exactly why. As much as I actively fight against it for other people, as much as I give lip service to body positivity, I am still chained to the lie that being overweight means I am not as good as people who are thin. When I look at the picture of me above, the first things I see are my doughy arms and my double chin, and I feel a deep sense of shame. Continue reading “Happiness: It’s Not Just for Skinny People” →

What Chaplains Don’t Do

On October 27, 2015October 27, 2015 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy3 Comments

Because this is Pastoral Care Week, I’ll be part of an event at my hospital which includes a reading from my book, and a question and answer session on the role of healthcare chaplains. The event is co-sponsored by our Pastoral Care department and the hospital’s Humanities Committee (of which I am a member), and has been advertised all over campus. Someone who saw the flyers was concerned that in a hospital committed to diversity and inclusion, we were promoting Christianity. I had to laugh at the irony. Such misconceptions of what chaplains do are exactly why such an event is needed! Continue reading “What Chaplains Don’t Do” →

P is for Prayer

On October 16, 2015October 17, 2015 By Stacy N. SergentIn ABCs of Hospital Chaplaincy, Chaplaincy, PrayerLeave a comment

(This post is part of the ongoing series ABCs of Hospital Chaplaincy.)

“Why do we look down?” I asked my grandmother one Sunday after prayer time in church. “Isn’t God up in heaven? How come we don’t pray looking up?” My childhood question was a sincere one, but I don’t worry so much now about the right posture for praying. As a hospital chaplain, I have seen and participated in countless forms of prayer. I no longer think that God would be more likely to hear us if we looked in the right direction. Anytime we pray — and I believe we all do, whether or not we call it prayer — we are somehow looking for, reaching out for God. Continue reading “P is for Prayer” →

“A Must Read for Those Who Work in the Healthcare Setting”

On September 21, 2015September 21, 2015 By Stacy N. SergentIn Chaplaincy, Writing2 Comments

Some of my favorite reviews of my book are from readers who perhaps stumbled onto it or didn’t expect to enjoy it. The latest one on Amazon (where you can buy the Kindle version only; the paperback version is available here) is one of the best so far. It’s from a nurse with the screen name london68, who headlined it, “A must read for those who work in the healthcare setting.” How’s that for a recommendation?! The reviewer writes: Continue reading ““A Must Read for Those Who Work in the Healthcare Setting”” →